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Attahuah

Dreamed summer 2015 (exact date lost) by Jamie Sawyer

It started out as me and a girl walking through the desert going somewhere. I remember she had dark hair, with skin that was tan but not too dark. The girl and I were obviously in love but I didn’t know why were in the desert. It was in a post-apocalyptic time.

We eventually came across a large old building in the desert, several stories high, with glassless windows. We go in to rest for a while and climb to the second floor near the window. We start doing oral sex, from what I remember. But as things are getting more heated, I sense that there are people in the distance who are also heading towards the building we are in. I'm disappointed about being interrupted. It's a group of 3 or 4 guys. They eventually make it to and enter the building. Jamie and Attahuah in a building in the desert; dream sketch by Jamie Sawyer.

In this dream, I have telekinesis (I do in many dreams) but haven’t used it yet. As far as I know, though, the girl I was with didn’t.

The 4 strangers came in, and they seemed friendly at first. The girl and I stayed on the second floor while they stayed on the ground floor in the corner of the building. But eventually, one of my abilities must have kicked in because I could hear the guys having a quiet conversation downstairs, with the sounds of the desert outside, and the building was so big there was no way a normal person could hear them talking downstairs at all, let along hear whispers. They were planning to team up against me and kill me, then rape the girl and keep her as their sex slave.

I realized at this point that the girl was Attahuah, my girlfriend at the time. She was still asleep and completely unaware of the trouble unfolding downstairs. I woke her and said "it's time to move on," but I didn't tell her what I heard, or how.

We left. I used my powers to create the illusion we were still upstairs in the building, hiding the real versions of us while we escaped. As the real ‘us’ walked through the desert, my powers kicked in again--while keeping one eye open, I shut the other eye and controlled my illusion back in the building.

The guys came upstairs and talked to us, at first just normal talk, but getting over-friendly, trying to coax her away from me. Eventually they outright tried to grab her. The fake me got defensive as one of the guys pulled and grabbed Attahuah, while the other three attacked me. I made the fake me try to punch and fight off the three guys as hard as I could, but acted like I was far too weak to do it. Three of them dragged me downstairs and outside in front of the building while the fourth one raped her upstairs... or so they thought. My fake self yelled and screamed "Leave her alone!" and "I'll kill you all!" The three who dragged me outside pulled out knives and stabbed me to death. The fourth guy came down after raping 'Attahuah' and knocking her out. All four chuckled and were proud of themselves for the score they just bagged.

Next, I used my powers to make these horrifying monsters rise out of the sand, and quickly slaughter the bandits as they tried to run away. Even though the monsters were illusions and it was really me using telekinesis to tear them apart, it looked like real monsters did it.

With the deed done, I opened my other eye with a small smile on my face. Ataahuah, who had been walking a few steps ahead of me, looked back curiously and asked me what I was smiling about. I just told her it was nothing. She gives a quick nervous glance back at the building, which was now just barely visible in the distance. Sensing what she was worrying about, I told her "Those shifty guys won't come after us, if that’s what you're worried about." Seeming satisfied with those words, she nodded and smiled at me, turning around and not questioning it any further.

Eventually, we came to this rocky canyon with a pathway to something like a large doorway. Inside was this purple haze. My senses were telling me to be careful, but Attahuah, being the silly dummy girl that she can be sometimes, stepped right into the haze before I could stop her. She immediately staggered backwards, back out of the haze and quickly fell to her her knees, rasping and coughing so hard that she was only able to get small little gasps of air in before violently coughing more, with increasing severity. I yell “Ataahuah, you idiot! Why did you do that!?” I fell to my knees behind her while she was still violently coughing, dying, but I was still calm and collected, knowing exactly what to do, and allowing my instinctive powers to kick in. I told her to hold on and relax as much as she could, which wasn't much--she was starting to convulse from suffocation. With one of my arms draped around her, and the other hand tilting her head back so her face was right next to mine. I put my mouth over hers, and inhaled, sucking all the air ( and poison) out of her lungs, and then blowing both highly concentrated oxygen, and an antidote to whatever the poison was, back into her lungs, almost acting as a kind of human inhaler to help open the airways in her lungs, all in one inhale and exhaling action, and I pull my mouth away from hers. Attahuah’s violent coughing immediately stopped and was replaced by panting. She could finally breathe clearly again, with small tiny coughs between pants, while I just sat there and looked at her with a satisfied and relieved look on my face, but also very quizzical look that said “Really? You really just did something that reckless and dumb?”

After she had caught her breath, she looked up at me and managed to stammer ”Thank you so much, I’m so sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking!” My irritation replaced by relief that the girl who meant the world to me was OK, I said "It’s okay, just please be careful next time.”

We both kiss passionately and then we stand up, facing the swirling poison. maybe left over from the war that ended the world? Attahuah said "What do we do now? How do we get through this?”

I took her hand and said “I’m sure we’ll figure something out” with a big grin on my face, the kind that meant “This won’t even be a challenge.” With full confidence that my powers could overcome anything, my dream perspective changes to third person, almost like a camera shot that slowly pans away from us, keeping the two of us in the middle of the shot holding hands, with the swirling mass of poison and mystery in front of us. Here I woke up.

--Jamie Sawyer

EDITOR'S NOTE

Given Jamie 's history of nightmares (see his Whipping Nightmares), violently defeating his attackers is no surprise here. But why the secrecy? These rapists and killers don't know that the monsters are punishing their crimes; they'll die thinking they just got unlucky. Jamie could have told them he overheard their plans, then booted them out, or turned them into mice, or just made himself and Attahuah invulnerable. If these thugs are fears or parts of the dreamer (as Western psychology assumes) they'll be back--so you want to discipline them, not just kill them. Even if they're not part of the dreamer (other dreamers? nonhuman spirits?) as shamans often think, isn't this still true? Jamie's sneak attack isn't deterrence or even punishment really... just vengeance. They're not the same.

Similarly, he hides the truth from Attahuah, and then in the next scene he patronizes her for being naive--"silly dummy girl". Yes, Attahuah underestimates the danger, but didn't Jamie create that illusion that the desert's safe? There's an attitude of "I'm the man, it's my job to protect her" that's taken for granted here. But hiding the risks and privately deciding for her is not protection--it's controlling, too. I suspect this attitude'll cause trouble both in dreams and waking relationships until it's recognized and changed.

In short: defeating nightmare figures is a solid first step. But once that's consistent, it's time to level up. In the gamer sense... and in the honesty sense.

--Chris Wayan



LISTS AND LINKS: apocalyptic dreams - deserts - oral sex - frustration - privacy & secrets - rape & sexual exploitation - violence in general - self-defense - doubles & alter egos - monsters - telekinesis in dreams - shamanic dreams - gimme air! - rescues - more Jamie Sawyer: Whipping Nightmares - gender & roles - honesty

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