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BALANCE?

Dreamed 1984/10/10 by Chris Wayan

I'm an explorer from Earth, sent out in a sentient ship, the Silkie. She's a sensible, cautious recorder, which is wise, since I'm impulsive. I fall in love with an alien on every new world. Males, females, whatever--as long as sex is possible, I get involved with someone. Emotionally, too...

This world is much like home, and I fall deep in love with a local humanoid girl.

My ship senses something wrong. "You're over-involved this time; lost your critical sense, and the point of the mission."

At first I dismiss it as mere jealousy. I've been neglecting Silkie's persona.

But Silkie puts on her body and comes after me, as a tall, slender, black-haired high-cheekboned Asian girl. It must be serious! Silkie HATES being stuck in a body! "So local" she always complains.

She drags me out of my girlfriend's house (you can't out-tug an android body) and we argue all the way back to the ship. "Silkie, I'm fine!" I say. "I'm learning the culture, the religion... these people have much to teach me about balance. It's the core of their belief and practice."

I show her the proof, using the tip-chair. This local meditation device looks rather like a big bathroom scale; you sit Zen style on a pad, and four pressure sensors tell if you're wobbling or tilting. Each direction is symbolic of an inner quality; the four roughly parallel Jung's four functions. I chant and sway a little, but keep my Balance. Not easy!

And my girlfriend taught me how.

Silkie guffaws "BALANCE?" She pulls me off the tip-chair, glares in my eyes, and says: "You're getting STALE."

And that's all. Just sits, waiting for me to face facts. She's the cautious one! Always reining me in. She's NEVER said anything like this before. If SHE thinks I'm too cautious...

I dream my starship's AI puts on her body and scolds me for meditating too much.
NEXT MORNING

I'm a bit shocked. A few years ago I was sick, abused, and easily knocked out by the slightest stress. My whole ambition has been to get where I was in this dream: a peaceful life with a nice girlfriend, with some emotional balance.

And my anima, my soul,.laughs at my goal, calls it nothing! I'm meant for other things, come on, it's time to go...

So what about you?



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