Dreamed ca. 1990, drawn 2001/07/29, by Sierra Loucks
When I was five, I dreamed I was at the beach with my friends Cle, Eric and some other boys. We raced around. It was fun. But gradually all of them were laughing at me, not with me. Then they picked up burning sticks.
They burned me.
I watched them laughing and dancing through my blackened rib cage...
Sunset on a beach.
It's my clearest memory from when I was that age. Just a dream, explained very briefly here. But we may see this again someday.
I believe Sierra when she says "we may see this again..." It's still present for her! Her drawing of the dream shows her adult self-image lying burned, not her as a child.
Is it surprising that her self-image is also furry, not human? If this is how her dreaming mind felt the Naked Apes treated her as a kid, I can see why she'd be reluctant to identify as one of them. Ever.
I know the feeling; I was my classmates' punching bag, and it still affects me--I'm very much a lone wolf. Hard to work with others, play with others, when somewhere deep inside my rib cage, I remember what the humans did to me. What humans do.
Yours in fur,
Recently Sierra emailed me, promising to try and write a bit more about this when she can; it'll go HERE when it comes. But her web access stinks right now, so it may take a while...
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