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1990 digital nondream painting by Chris Wayan

I went to a lot of twelve-step groups and it struck me that Buddhism is one of them, probably the first, focused on shaking your addiction to the drama and suffering of life. Lifaholics Anonymous!

At least that's their theory. Though I'm an anorexic. Hooked on austerity, I'm more tempted by withdrawal, meditation--by death itself. Through many lives, I've preferred the freedom and light of the spirit realm to the rather dull life I allow myself in a body.

I'm a horse-spirit swimming a black river, a big-eyed mare behind me. Ahead's a skeletal horse--the gatekeeper? Scrawled on the night: 'Lifaholics Anonymous has a motto: cross the black river one death at a time.'
Oh, well. Cross the black river, one death at a time.

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