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Paranoid Habits

Trance-vision, 1994/10/4, by Chris Wayan

I'm in hypnotherapy. The hypnotist asks "May we contact the part of Chris that causes chronic illness?"

And a nameless voice answers! It says "I just follow orders, and Chris asks for experiences proving the world's out to get him.

"So... I supply persecution. Allergens, hostile or dishonest people, indifferent and incompetent institutions, malevolent machines. He's not just walking around with a negative attitude--I'm allowed to use his formidable psychic powers. "So he gets his emotional exercise--at least fear, and anger, and suspicion.

"I'd just as soon send him happiness, but, you know, garbage in, garbage out. He indulges in paranoid trains of thought, because his abusers forced him to look for the worst in people and institutions, and run if he found it. It kept him alive as a kid.

"But as his psychic abilities have grown, his suspicions attract persecution more actively, like that crazy bunch running the Bay Area Dreamworkers Group.

"Psychics and paranoia are like drivers and alcohol--a fatal mix. If he wants to quit having bad luck he has to quit indulging in negativity all the time.

"Because he's literally asking for it."

And I slide out of trance, and into shock. At what I just heard.

At what I just said.

AN APOLOGETIC NOTE

For some years I had a footnote here emphasizing this was a hypnotic trance inside a dream, not a waking hypnosession. But I recently discovered I was wrong. Looking for something else, I went back through my original journal for 1994 and found I'd actually gone to a hypnotherapist that day, and found myself saying these things in trance. It isn't a dream!

Paranoid Habits was one of at least 1000 short pieces I edited in 2001 to start the World Dream Bank; the sheer quantity led to long hours, fatigue, and, clearly, bad fact-checking; but I'm shocked I could mistake something so fundamental. I'm now going through those older pieces, checking names and dates... and very much hoping this is the only error of this magnitude. I've allowed nondream material on the site of course, especially if it arises from other altered states--but labeled clearly as such. I apologize to readers. I hope it's the only howler I uncover.



LISTS AND LINKS: therapy - trance states - ESP as a subject - negativity - trust and paranoia (and trusting paranoia!) - mistakes and nasty habits - prayers & wishes - life-scripts - diagnostic dreams or trances - fun with BADG, the Bay Area Dreamworkers Group - where it all started: uncle Hugh

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