I start reading Golden Girl by Elin Hilderbrand. A mom on Nantucket gets killed in a hit-and-run she didn't even see--doesn't know who killed her. Her spirit gets to observe as her family goes through shock and tries to find whodunit. A local's clearly trying to frame a family friend for it... why?

So far I'm impressed; it works as a family novel, fantasy and mystery.

THAT NIGHT

I try sex with Cynthia, my cute but cynical friend and classmate. I feel a bit intimidated--there's a risk I'll become part of Cynthia's anecdote collection, another comically inept or insensitive guy.

I'm unsure how she's feeling. That's odd. Normally, I sense people's emotions directly, but it's like I have a bag over my head. Guess my doubt and worry overwhelmed my sixth sense, till I'm unsure what she likes and dislikes.

Still, we're gamely trying--kiss, get naked and grope... when I notice a round hole in the ceiling, big as a pie plate. Through it, I see a stairwell. Where our classmates climb by. Several students pause--peer down at us, naked on a bed here in the student union building!

Two girls stop and watch us a while. One murmurs to the other "Wow, they sure are exhibitionists."

Funny thing to say, since... it's a hot day, and those two gawkers wear miniskirts, and from our weird angle up the peephole they peeped us through... they're naked underneath. As they gossip about our exhibitionism.

The maintenance guy doesn't cover the hole--"I don't have a chimney cap on me, and we hardly have rain any more, so why bother?"

Uh, because... privacy?

SO WHAT'S IT ALL MEAN?

• Cynthia: a classmate I got a crush on at college, just as in Golden Girl a high school boyfriend wrote a hit song for her; it turns out to be a clue.
• Sixth sense: literal. I sense other creatures' emotions so strongly they can overwhelm me. Cynthia was unusual--hard to read. Maybe I was attracted to that quiet?
• Shy, awkward: Cynthia clearly liked me, but I remained shy & awkward around her. Hovered, then fled. Just not ready!
• Pie-hole: 1: when I moved into my current home, one wall had a pie-plate plugging a big round hole--an old stove vent, I think. It had been painted over, but was definitely a pie-pan. (Ah, professionalism!) 2: Pie hole is slang for an open, over-talkative mouth: "Shut your pie hole!" I do babble my privatest dreams online...
• Weird perspective: the dream may be teasing me to try drawing figures from such a difficult angle. It was hard just from memory. The textured paper I tried was a second experiment I won't repeat; the heavy texture limits detail, especially facial expressions.
• They call us exhibitionist, when they're naked from OUR perspective: quit worrying that others'll judge my sexuality when their secret bits are just as bare.
• So what does it all mean?
  1. Guess I'm not too wild about the idea of angels--even those we love--peering down at us, a la Golden Girl.
  2. If the students mean social media, the dream advises me to ignore critics--they too are baring their, uh, motives.
  3. If they're inner critics not outer ones, it warns I still have voices nagging about privacy--though today privacy's a joke.
• ACTION: Ignore any fears that I bare sexual feelings better left private. Privacy's dead. Age of the Pie Hole!

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