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SINGULARITIES

Dreamed 1995/5/18 (clearest night of recurrent dream); picture late 1994, by Chris Wayan.

Repeatedly, I dream that I find big magnetic bottles abandoned on loading docks or in stolen delivery trucks. They pull at me fiercely--gravity fields! They either contain neutronium or even tiny, artificial singularities. Even properly contained, they're not really safe to handle: the gravity fields clutch at you and make you dizzy. How do you carry a black hole back where it belongs? And where is that?

In most of these dreams there's a market for such predatory whirlpools, using them to create energy to drive starship engines... but the handling problems and terrorism-risks are worse than for nuclear material. I mean, uncork just one singularity, no matter how small, and let it fall... it'll gnaw its way to the earth's core and slowly swallow most of the planet.

So naturally, I always find the damn mag-bottles sitting unguarded, lost--or stolen.

And I know these dreams aren't about the future. The problem's real, personal, and now. I already carry emotional singularities inside me--issues that suck up all the energy and time I throw at them and either ignore me, or grow, or spit radiation back. Knots so tight they'll kill me if I get within their event horizon.

Don't most of us have our... singularities? Some are active, but some are dark, invisible, dormant--true black holes--till you go too close. Then if you're not careful... boom. Quasar city.

You know, my active problems, my white singularities, actually feel safer, radioactive though they are. Like rattlesnakes, they at least warn you off!

weird beings bearing singularities inside like babies... or tumors
Some great-souled people seem to find a way to harness their inner singularities--their fears, their rage, even their craziness--to generate energy, not drag them down or hold them back. Yeats writes about that. But I haven't managed it yet.

Have you?



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