I'm in the dark, in the back of a van my parents are driving. I drum on a hollow thing small as a lemon. It has a hole I can leave open or cover or part-cover with my fingertip, to get different tones--surprisingly rich big ones from this tiny thing. Looks like a mere ocarina, but rings like a huge gong! I work out how to do a whole myxolydian scale of overtones.

At the end of a long musical ride, the tones start lengthening, persisting. Now they sustain as if independent, as if the drum only wakens or summons them. And they sound like voices. A chorus of spirits! They chant three words--I only recall two now: 'deliver' and 'enemies'. I'm uneasy--worry this means spirits are always watching us, and I'm sick of being watched, I have been all night. But excited too. They sounded helpful not vengeful. Fierce, maybe, but on my side.

An explanatory whisper, as if one spirit is apart, more human, a commentator who knows I may not have understood that: "They may do it." Sounds like he thinks it's not certain but likely.

Then I feel a rush building through my body. Not adrenaline. Tingling, electric. In a wave, all my nerves discharge built-up static. Shocking, strong. Whoosh! It's been years since I felt anything like this wave--and that was from Rolfing or shiatsu. Clears out a lot, and I feel immediately better.

I guess they did it. Whatever "it" is. Unless this angelic spring-cleaning is just prep work... for something more.

• Parents are driving, I'm in the dark: uh-oh! Their training is steering me again...
• Drumming on ocarina: details are weird, but the general message that music heals me is clear.
• ACTION: Go on recording with our band (the The Krelkins) but maybe add some solo work.
• Clear stuff out: swabbed out a fungus infection in my left ear with vinegar (folk cure from the Web). Stung, but the gunk is out and it feels better now. No more waiting for doctors...
• Deliver, enemies: fighting infections? My mom was a hardcore feminist pacifist. I grew up ashamed to fight, and reluctant to call anyone or anything an enemy. Now I wonder--am I so extreme about "no one's an enemy" that I suppress my own immune system? Refuse to kick out parasites?
• ACTION 2: Think seriously about my reluctance to fight or even ask for help if it means harming poor, innocent infections! Try "Deliver me from mine enemies" as a mantra and see what happens.

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