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Angels and Sharks
Dreamed 1975/10/11 by Wayan
NOTES YEARS LATER
I'm an angel not meant to soar; I just tread air.
I pass through things; we interpenetrate.
Myself locate in coordinates of air
As if undersea.
I must keep swimming like a shark,
Evermoving relative to things
Half in me;
Else I'll bond too deep to them and fuse:
Self lose. As I swim the street, a car goes
Through feet. Into church, over worn pews.
Air through nose
To lungs so hard, so slow: relentless work
Sleepless as a shark.
Climb two stained-glass windows. Holy birds.
I'd rather BE dove than angel! Get to breathe.
Punch the rainbow, shatter birds and bleed,
Reach air. Even under heaven, wheeze.
Hard to be this angel, moving to stay free,
Separate and free. This work's enough to turn
Any angel dark.
- Struggle to get air: not literal. I had allergies, but NOT asthma.
- If I pause, I'll fuse with things: the dream's real warning. I was in a California college whose dominant ideology held that intimacy was all and defenses should be dropped. But the dream claimed I merged too readily, and it held real danger for me.
- The dream was right. Six months later, I got trapped by a batterer. I nearly died. To leave, I had to smash my stained-glass, turn-the-other-cheek picture of what goodness was. To leave her proved I was selfish, unloving and wicked--for needing to breathe.
LISTS AND LINKS:
I'm Just Not Myself Today! -
platform-bent dreams -
dream beings -
holy places -
gimme air! -
relationship warnings in dreams -
boundaries & self-defense -
dream poems -
more stained-glass-window dreams:
Unicorn Stain-Glass Window &
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