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Dreamed 1999/6/1 by Chris Wayan

I win two free games of Kick the President.

You play it in a tank, where remote-controlled grayscale effigies of dead presidents kick a ball or a hockey puck around--and kick each other.

I inherit George Washington and I kick everyone. Enjoy it so much I pay a dollar for an extra game, and just practice till I'm adept at maneuvering old George to kick ass.

Then I switch to a higher denomination, the one I really want to play with--Tom Jefferson. I want to see what happens between him and women, especially his slave lover, Sally Hemings. Think I can learn from this--how not to behave, at least.

But I can't see him! My puppet president's behind a cement column, and I can't maneuver him into my line of sight. I can make Jefferson lash out powerfully at whoever's near, but I'm running him blind. Don't know who or what I'm kicking.

I can't learn a thing from this! I walk away disappointed from Kick The President.

Because what's the point of kicking, what's the point of winning... blind?


LISTS AND LINKS: baseball - dream advice - guilt - dream humor - political dreams - surrealism - films - presidential dreams - Wayan fights alongside George, on Washington's Dune - George's transvestite secret: he's a Tutuchman - more dream-kicks: Kick the Faerie Bell, Clone Breakup, Entwined, Kick Her, Go-Go Gang, Mahakala, Praise the Dancing Goons

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