Ann, who had recently moved to California from Florida, became ill with swollen ovaries, which caused her such pain that even walking was difficult. She was seen every few days by a gynecologist, who could find no cause for the condition.

After two months, the gynecologist suggested exploratory surgery to see what the problem might be. Ann decided to obtain another medical opinion before proceeding with the surgery and flew back to Florida to see her former gynecologist. On the cross-country flight, Ann decided that she would try to incubate a dream that might heal her or at least show her if she was psychologically causing this illness. That night she incubated a dream with this long phrase: "OK. This is your last chance to save me from the doctor's knife. Why am I sick, and what can be done about it?"

Ann had a long dream in which she was constantly reminded through voices and images that "there is time, there is plenty of time for all of this." There unfolded before her dreaming eyes several scenes in which she bathed peacefully in a river; gave easy birth to an infant; with effort climbed a ladder, at the top of which she found her law degree; and sat peacefully in meditation beside the river.

All these scenes seemed to occur simultaneously, and in all of them she was in or beside the river. She felt a sense of triumph in the ladder scene, one of surprised pleasure in the easy birth scene, and one of pleasure and tranquility in the scenes where she washed her hair in and meditated beside the river.

Ann had another explanation. She felt the dream had relieved her of a great deal of partly unconscious conflict she had experienced about having children. She had felt that having a child would rob her of her private time, of her tranquility, and of her chance to be a success in her career. In fact, as she realized after this dream, she had begun to feel that her determination to finish law school would evaporate if she gave in to her more "feminine" desires simply to enjoy life and let in all the gentle, pleasure-oriented feelings she had put aside as she applied herself to her studies.

Now her dream was telling her that she could relax. There would be enough time for her to experience both sides of her nature, the achievement-oriented side and the feeling-oriented one. There need be no life-and-death opposition between them.

Ann hypothesized that her swollen ovaries were a symbolic representation of her psychological efforts to reject her pleasure-oriented, "feminine" self for fear that they might sabotage her career plans. She interpreted the birth scene as symbolizing the fact that what she thought of as her feminine nature would enrich her life with a greater sensitivity to her feelings without disrupting her privacy or her work.

Ann's dream had made a big impact on her. Whether or not it actually healed her is impossible to prove, but as far as she was concerned, she had realized in her dream something very important for the happiness and enjoyment of her life. The fact that Ann awoke feeling fine for the first time in two months led her to believe that more than coincidence was involved.

SOURCE: Living Your Dreams by Gayle Delaney (1981 ed, p.101-103)

EDITOR'S NOTE

In later editions Delaney added a footnote warning readers to rely on doctors, not dreams, for diagnosis, as denial mechanisms and dream misinterpretation are so easy. True; yet Ann's case shows that doctors can deny and misinterpret too. They say Ann and her California doctor must both have been incompetent; she was never ill! Delaney's caveat ignores healthcare biases that make doctors neglect, ignore and insult low-caste patients. Ann is well-off, she can afford healthcare, plane trips and second opinions; but she's still female, so it's all in her silly little head.

Ann's dream, in contrast, did exactly as asked, and more: diagnosed AND treated the problem.

I'm biased, of course: for decades I lacked access to healthcare, and got used to self-reliance. When I did see doctors they repeatedly dismissed my symptoms and (dangerously) misdiagnosed me. I'm not alone: I write this in 2023, after more than half a million deaths from opioids, many of them misprescribed by doctors who told patients they were safe.

Dreams have helped me more than doctors; and, more importantly, harmed me less.

--Chris Wayan

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