Dreamed 1999/12/18 by Chris Wayan
A bunch of my friends who consider themselves leftist revolutionaries have kidnapped a cow, and hold it for ransom in an executive suite high in the Transamerica Pyramid. I don't think cow ransoms run very high. But then, making money isn't their goal. They're out to make a point: why ISN'T a cow worth as much as a CEO? At least it gives real milk. The CEOs don't, they just milk us workers! Cash cows, that's all we are...
The cow-nappers sure are organized! They impersonate UPS delivery men and manage to hand-truck whole bales of fodder into the freight lift, getting right past the cops every time. Some of them have even infiltrated the anti-terrorist squad brought in to besiege them--with genuine uniforms and passwords and all!
Standoff. They embarrass the FBI and the Board of Supervisors for days.
The board's deeply split anyway. In fact, the board's chairman, Tom Ammiano, is openly sympathetic to the cownappers. In fact, Ammiano opens hearings to investigate the federal and state cops invading town and disrupting the financial district and harassing people on the street for looking like... well, like San Franciscans. To the Feds, that's a crime right there!
A lawyer for the company that owns the cow tries to justify the overreaction, the cop-occupation of downtown, but Ammiano sums up most of the testimony: "San Francisco is basically saying you are persona non grata here. You, your gun squads, and your corporation, too."
The audience cheers, for most of us are starting to LIKE these "terrorists" who have a cow peacefully grazing in the top of the Pyramid.
Though the tower looks different: round not squarish, still tapered slightly, but with a spiral motif like a gigantic alicorn. Now where have I seen that spiral tower?
NOTES NEXT DAY
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