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Stabbed Alive*

Dreamed 2007/10/9 by Roswila [aka Patricia Kelly]

I can't pull out the knife
I stabbed into my stomach
a coat drapes over

long staircase down
I defeat the evil man
despite my old wound

revisiting the knifing
I learn he, not me, caused it
to what end?

it hurts too much
to try to remove the knife
I leave it be

*"Now he's been stabbed alive. He's seeing things."
Joyce Cary: "The Horse's Mouth"



"Stabbed alive", not stabbed to death. Paradoxical! Poked awake, shocked alive, those we understand. But stabbed alive? The phrase's source hints at the meaning. "The Horse's Mouth" is a portrait of an anarchistic old painter whose life is all about vision, really seeing. So this injury may be something that gives Roswila deep vision, despite its pain--a shamanic wound. She's strong even wounded--still defeats her old enemy. Indeed, was the wound, in some way, needed? To stab her alive, help her see through the darkness under the stairs?

--Chris Wayan

LISTS AND LINKS: violence - blades - self-defense - courage - pain - injury, disability, deformity - dream illnesses - surrender - healing from abuse - shamanic dreams - vision - poetry - more Roswila -

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