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Letting Go

Dreams of letting go, giving in, renunciation, surrender. Not defeat; surrender--and what can arise of it.

RELATED TOPICS: miracles - I'm falling! - I'm flying! - rescues and rescue fantasies - guardians, from thugs to angels - trust and mistrust - the creative flow state - See also the full INDEX OF SUBJECTS.

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ABERFAN: by Eryl Mai Jones & others, 1966/10/20; premonitory dreams & waking flashes
Some 200 Brits have dreams and premonitions of black landslides smothering children.
After heavy rain, half a million tons of coal slag sweeps over two Welsh schools, killing...
AMERICAN WIDOW: by Alissa Torres; February 2002, a dream of her husband lost on 9/11
High-voltage traces of our lust and love flowed through our mattress nightly...
until one night when the power surged and overflowed. Then I felt you...
ANOCHE / LAST NIGHT: by Antonio Machado; c. 1900; a joyful dream poem
Last night, as I slept, I dreamt--illusion blessed!--that I had a beehive, here inside my heart...
AROUND LAKE ERIE AND ACROSS THE HUDSON: by Rachel Hadas; 1997?, a dream-poem.
My dead friend Charlie and his sister and I are driving around
Lake Erie. We know it’s a dream and he’s dead, and yet we’re joyous...
AT A CALIFORNIA CAMP: by Jack Kerouac, spring 1955, a nuclear testing nightmare
My family and I are prisoners in a camp that will be H-bombed so our remains
can be studied. I write a Buddhist poem preparing for death...
CAUTION: GOVERNMENT ATROCITY
BALLOONS: by Stan Brakhage; 1975/5/7, an epic, apocalyptic flying dream after a bad plane flight
I'm a schoolkid again, fleeing an eruption of sewage. We escape in a balloon.
Earth is beautiful, but I know this flood of shit will drown the whole world...
THE BASEBALL KISS: by Wayan; 1983/8/4, a dreamtale on choice.
The Prime Minister of England breaks my nose, so I become a flock
of squirrels to seek revenge. But maybe I should I let it go...
BEFORE BED: by Mary Ruefle, ca. 1995, a dream-poem on stewardship
In the cathedral, before the nation, I solemnly crown someone with my own detached head...
THE BLACK WAVE: by Wayan, 2016/10/18, a poem on a hypnogogic healing dream
After days sick, I open myself to unseen spirits and let a black wavefront
go through me--and the healing begins. But what did I let in?
CAUTION: MYSTICISM & FETISHISM DON'T MIX
THE BLAMMOR: by Wayan; 1984/4/20, 4 linked private-eye dreams.
I'm a Fast-Food Detective tracking down a kidnapper-sorceress.
I find castles, monsters, magic carpets... and unexpected love.
CAUTION: SEX
CARTWRIGHT'S HARLEQUIN: by Rosalind Cartwright, 1927? to 2020/12/5? Lifelong recurring dream
All her life, Cartwright dreamed of a figure disguised in a harlequin costume; she never saw his face.
He always drove her to self-sabotage. But near her death, she dreamt she gave a lecture, and he...
COMING TO THE JUMPING OFF PLACE: by Jenny Badger Sultan, 92/5/1, painting of an escape dream
Trapped on an island, spied on and controlled, we decide to jump off
a cliff and die; but as we jump, a spirit sneaks us off be reborn...
CORPSE-BUG: by Wayan; 1994/12/1, an allegorical sex nightmare.
I'm a hippie girl in San Francisco, in hard times. To escape the Four Horsemen, I lie down with Death...
CAUTION: GANGS, CREEPY SEX
CUTENESS PAGEANT: by Wayan; 2008/8/29, a dream-poem, Dreamverse #16.
I'm trapped in a cute cartoon universe! Worse, to judge this beauty contest,
I have to see past our style to our souls...
CUTTLEBONE: by Wayan; 1999, sculpture, 7", plaster/acrylic; a nondream improv.
If you can't tell what it is from the thumbnail, cheer up. It's indescribable full-size, too.
CYCLOPS, or, THE ANSWER TO MY PRAYER: by Wayan; 1993/8/24, a spiritual nightmare.
In the far future, I relive Odysseus' tale. To save my life I must give up realistic hope, and focus on...
CAUTION: CANNIBAL MONSTERS
DAD THE WORKAHOLIC: by Rick Veitch; 1994 or before; an emotional blowout dream
In the paper factory where my dad worked all his life, I find him on
his deathbed. Even as he fades, he's still trying to please his bosses...
A DIFFICULT PATH: by Anna Kingsford; 1877/11/3, an advisory dream.
I lead my daughter up a thorny path; she’s getting scratched. She'd rather stay in that fishing village below...
DISEASE OF THE HEART: by Virginia Woolf; 1929/11/2, a false diagnostic dream--or is it?
I dream I have just six months to live. I go through a dozen phases and moods, preparing for death...
THE DREAM POLICE: by Wayan; 1994/4/6, a dream on persecution.
The police confiscate my therapist's copies of my dreams, and try me for obscenity! So why do I help?...
EEL GIRLS: by Wayan; 1993/9/14, a tearjerker nightmare.
I learn to fly, but keep it quiet. Yet aliens still find out, and tell me a truth I didn't want to know...
ELBERETH PAUSES: by Wayan; 1989/6/26, a dream on postwar ethics.
After the Lord of the Rings falls, Elbereth herself is sent to heal the land. But she has a troubling neighbor...
A FINAL GOODBYE: by Justin Hall; dreamed summer 2001, drawn 2003; comic of a lucid dream on closure.
I found myself in a cafe in Amsterdam--or was it Sevilla?--with Kevin, who I knew was dead...
CAUTION: GRIEF
FIRE-CATS: by Wayan; 1981/10/10; twin dream-poems on over-discipline
For mere disobedience, I EXECUTE a forest-fire-fighting cat! So next
I'm trapped in a security-obsessed job; how do I like it? I flee...
FLIGHT: by Denise Levertov; 1945; a dream poem
I meet William Blake! He says "The will is given us that we
may know the delights of surrender." While in my bedroom...
THE FOREST BRIDE: by Jenny Badger Sultan; 1994/7/23 & 1994/12/10; opposing solstice dreams
In the midsummer dream, I'm at a wedding in the Russian forest;
in winter, I dream I hold an emaciated girl as she breathes her last...
FREEDOM THROUGH BOXES: by Wayan; an experiment in art & pain, Jan 2005
I've always loved curves, color, dreams, sex, texture... and planning, too.
So one day I drew 100 black boxes in ink--no color, no curves, no erasure! And then I began to seek...
GARDEN OF THE GODS: by Wayan; 1995/10/6, a dream of slowth.
In the Garden of the Gods, I sit through sun and rain. For gods aren't the gardeners, they're the crop...
HALF SHAMAN, HALF STATESMAN: by Wayan; 1986/4/21, a parallel-world dream: Chapter 6 of UNICORN TAG
I get a scholarship to Shaman U. Some of my classmates are Terran, but I still don't fit in, because...
CAUTION: LANGUAGE
HAND US THE FRENCHMAN!: by Wayan; 2004/10/24, a comic dreamlet on hippiedom's last gasp
The Feds order my friend Mike to hand them a Frenchman we haven't seen in years. Mike substitutes a junk VW...
HEADING FOR A FALL: by Wayan; 1993/11/2, a dream of drastic shortcuts.
I crash my car on the way to therapy. I ask my dream why. And it tells me! Deliberate, but not suicidal...
HUMMINGBIRD: by Larry Vigon; 2004/4/4; a predictive dream
A hummingbird was trapped inside my home. So beautiful. I set it free.
The next Saturday, I found this hummingbird on the patio...
I FIND MYSELF CRYING: by Anonymous #51, before 1978, a cathartic dream of acceptance
I was in a sort of commune. A girl snuggled up to me and I got an erection. I felt
embarrassed and apologized. She said "NEVER apologize for THAT..."
CAUTION: SEXUAL SHAME/HEALING
IF ONLY I COULD: by Rick Veitch, c.1995, an eerie underground dream
Soil turns to air for me; I float in the dark between tree roots
and stones, thinking "If only I could remember my name"...
JAMES MERRILL REMEMBERED: by Rachel Hadas; around May 1995; two dream-poems
Soon after my friend and mentor James Merrill died, I had recurring, elusive dreams about him...
JASON: by MariNaomi; 1989, a romantic-warning nightmare
The Mummy chases me, then unwraps his bandages to show the mutilated face of my boyfriend.
"I'm getting out of jail!" he says. Then the phone wakes me. My boyfriend. He says "I'm getting out of..."
CAUTION: CODEPENDENCE, MUTILATION, GUILT AND GRIEF
JOHN SAYS GOODBYE: by Mary Fleener; August 1970 or '71, a comic of a psychic farewell dream.
After a summer apart I dream my friend John and I fly hand in hand. Bliss! Strange, he has long hair and no beard...
CAUTION: OFFSTAGE MURDER
JOSEPHUS, LET GO: by Josephus Flavius; c.65 CE, vague predictive dreams
Resistance fighter Josephus, cornered, took a hard look at his prophetic dreams and decided to make peace...
THE KEYRING OF ATTACHMENTS: by Wayan; 1974/5/31, a dream gone too far.
Swayed by sinister surgeons, I go all Buddhist and give up my attachments, including various organs...
CAUTION: DIVESTABLE GENITALIA
THE LADY BATHES IN GRIEF: by Wayan; 1983/5/31, a long-haul psychic dream.
Why'd a spirit-woman come to our reservation to mourn a drowned guy? Her mirrors & candles tell us...
LAMPREYS: by Wayan; 1974/6/27, a dream of assimilation
Pretty much everyone in my school is a bloodsucking alien, but, come to think of it, so what?
CAUTION: SEX, VAMPIRES, SEX WITH VAMPIRES, BUT NICE VAMPIRES
THE LAST JUDGMENT: by Esther Raucher, c.1950; a childhood dream grows into a big sculpture group
I fled a snake by flying. I felt guilty, I knew it was cheating. Years passed. I made tiny clay figurines.
Years passed. I drew a chicken lady with a halo. Years passed. I sculpted a flock of BIG...
CAUTION: NUDE CHICKEN LADIES
LET ILLNESS GO: by Wayan; 1999/6/7. Acrylic/digital painting of a meditation not a dream.
Illness is such a handy excuse when you need solitude, care, rest, or just time to think... but...
LION-MEN: by Wayan; 1995/7/9, an eye-opening dreamlet.
I'm a traveling Zen warrior talking to a circus girl in a barn. Four guys enter--and my life changes forever.
THE MADONNA SPEAKS: by Carolee Schneemann, 1971; a Goddess-encounter dream
The Labyrinth of the Madonna's Tears provoked a dream of the Goddess telling me
"My forgotten sanctuaries are all around you now. You have only to see with your own eyes...
MAGICAL GRADUATION: by Wayan, 2018/4/22, twin dreamlets on letting go and being yourself
I befriend author Andre Norton--an ageless high-school kid writing enthused fan fiction, forever...
I find my Niche--the stone nook that decides if I'm a journeyman mage! Here comes my prophecy...
MARTHA'S FALL: by Barbara, Martha, and Wayan; 1977/5/18. 3 linked warning, sex, and flying dreams
Wayan makes love to Martha's double, then sees her soul watching from the shadows...
Barbara can't reach Wayan to say farewell...
Martha falls off a mountain and decides to let herself die, just to see what happens...
CAUTION: SEX, ABUSE ISSUES
THE MONEYBIRD: by Wayan, 2005/3/18, a dream-poem on renunciation. Stupid renunciation.
Inspired by a bird who weaves her nest of dollar bills, I become a sort of monk,
sweeping, renouncing wealth--but my monastery's a Silicon Valley BART station...
MY FAVORITE DREAM OF 1991: by Mary Fleener; 1991, a joyful dismemberment dream.
My friend Carol and I are carrots. We crawl out of our vegetable bed
through the kitchen window, and end up happily hot-tubbing in soup...
MY RITUAL BEHEADING: by Jenny Badger Sultan; 1996/3/24, painting of a nightmare
We stood meekly in line to be beheaded. I tried to accept my fate and commended myself to God...
CAUTION: READ THE TITLE!
MY SINE-FRIEND: by Wayan; 1984/3/6, an emotional dream of time and rebirth.
An animal-girl I know lives like a sine-wave, first forward in time, then backwards, dying at every zero...
MYRNA, LOOK AHEAD: by Myrna, drawn by her daughter Joey Epstein; before 1988, a dream of ghost advice
After Myrna’s husband died, one night she felt him behind her in bed, and he whispered...
NOCTURNE: dreamed 2011 & 2013/11/19 by S---; nested, incubated advisory dreams
After asking "Am I ready to say yes to someone new?" I dreamed I met my old love...
ON THE SEASHORE: by Gabrielle Bell; between 1998-2002; a lucid dream-comic
I'm on a beach in Mexico with a baby--my only souvenir of an affair I can't recall.
I'm a mom? My whole life will change! Wait. Is this real, or...
ORACLE--SEA CHANGE: by Jenny Badger Sultan; 1999/5/6, dream-based painting
At the beach, wading with my fellow dreamworker Stephanie.
The waves are getting bigger--are they a hazard, or can we ride them?
THE OTHER PILLAR: by Roswila; 2007/12/9, a double dreamku
A kinky seduction slips into something more uncomfortable: the Qabbalah? Or possibly leather...
CAUTION: EROTICA OR ESOTERICA?
PASS THE VIAL ON: by Wayan; 2000/4/18, a dream of renunciation
A vagabond king showed me the way into Faerie, and it made my fortune. But now it’s time to pass the gift on...
PISSING MEMORIES: by Wayan; 1999/5/20, a dream on self-sabotage.
I desperately need to pee, but my bladder's full of two kinds of emotional trauma, and each blocks the other!
CAUTION: BATHROOM PSYCHOLOGY
POLYGON DREAMS: by Wayan; 2007/4/23, a 32-page comic on the effects of shapes
What if comics panels and layouts weren't so square? I try triangles,
pentagons, hexagons, circles, spirals--and some serious stuff pops out...
CAUTION: IDEAS, OCCASIONAL NUDITY, MENTIONS ABUSE
THE POWER OF NON-VISUALIZATION: by Wayan; 2018/4/29, a mystical dream whose teaching worked
I'm listening to a film-talk on Non-Visualization. "Don't wish--don't will--don't visualize.
Just face what you really want, and then don't push..."
CAUTION: MYSTICAL
THE POWER OF THE BUTTERFLY: by Lisa Gale Garrigues ("Cory"); winter 1997,
a dream of flying, shapeshifting and spiritual advice.
When a flood traps me in my cabin, I dream I meet
an old man who warns me "Let your butterflies go"...
PRAYER: by Marie-Claude Girondé, early 2009, a dream painting.
"Our resurrection is not entirely in the future; it's also in us, it begins, it's already begun..."
PUMA ORGY: by Wayan; 1988/2/5, erasable crayon drawing of a dream.
I dreamed I had to go through the Animal Orgy to get to the City of the Shining Spirits on the horizon...
CAUTION: STRANGE SEX
REDUCED TO THE STUDHOUSE: by Wayan; 1980/11/16, a warning dream.
I'm not a normal wolf: I'm a were-woman. When I turn wolf again, I'm in heat; but I want to be alone! So...
CAUTION: SEX TALK
THE RIVER: by Kathleen Raine, between 1965 & '71; two mystical dream poems on dropping the ego
I tossed the crystal decanter of my self into the river, and watched it float away...
ROGER AND TINA: by Lisa Horton Zimmerman; 1991?; a gender-bent dream
As Roger, I can't get enough of Tina, though I know she lies and steals. After she vanishes with
my leather jacket, I hunt for her. Spot her shoplifting, and I want to catch her, but let go at last...
A SEX KITTEN: by Wayan; 1999/1/29, an embarrassing dream.
A creature that's half kitten and half baby wants me to masturbate it... I'm reluctant, but when I do...
CAUTION: SEX
A SHELLFISH EPIPHANY: by Wayan; 1996/6/14, a spiritual dream.
Our family of Japanese pearldivers is cast away on an atoll. One day, lonely, scared, I cast away fear...
THE SKIN SECEDES: by Wayan; 1990/1/30, an unappetizing dream.
A baby's own skin secedes, forming a snake. It prepares to eat the skinned baby. Shall I intervene?
SNOW by Nancy Price; 1948, a false-waking dream about living vs survival
Lost in the snow, I must give my baby to a stranger or let my dad put him in a box, safe, forever...
SOUL RESTORED: by Wayan; 2016/12/4, two dreams on deep change
MY SOUL RESTORED: To hide me as I grew up, someone transplanted a shard of redwood-soul
into me, and part of my soul into the tree! But now I'm grown...
RED ROBE OF INITIATION: I came to play music, but I'm dragged to the magic-school portal & draped in...
CAUTION: MYSTICISM
SPIRITUAL TESTS: by Wayan; 2000/8/28, a predictive dream
As my dad lies dying, I dream my sister and I face spiritual tests
given by slacker angels who'd rather be on TV. Learn to let go!
SPORECOUNT: by Wayan; 1990/1/5, a dreamtale on patience through change.
I'm a hot archeology student till I open the wrong tomb. A plague
turns us into green moldy monsters--at first...
CAUTION: DISEASE, DEATH, GRIEF, SHAME
A SQUIRRELY BUSINESS PLAN: by Wayan; 2009/3/2, a Looney-Toons dream
I'm slow to catch on that this skunk's slidetalk isn't a business pitch; it's about seduction...
CAUTION: ABSURD LOVE TRIANGLE, KINKY SKUNK
STABBED ALIVE: by Roswila; 2007/10/9, a nightmare-poem
I defeat the knife-wielder, in spite the blade in my belly I can't pull out. I may have to let it be...
STAGE FAILURE: by Dana Hughes, art by Jesse Reklaw; pre-2000; a dream of surrender
I'm on stage. I have to sing. They just stare. I try dancing. Stony silence. At last,
a second me leads me offstage, saying "You can only fail so many times"...
THE STROKE: by Lesa; 2005/6/1, a predictive dream
A vivid nightmare that turned out a week later to be devastatingly true ...
SURRENDER DARCY!: by Wayan; 1982/6/14, a dreamtale on pride and prejudice.
I'm Doctor Who, being chased by an air-surfer who demands we give up a reserved, proud man named...
CAUTION: MILD NUDITY
SURRENDER TO THE WHITE BUFFALO: by Kathleen Sullivan, 1970s?; a nightmare turned shamanic
A gigantic herd of buffalo stampede toward me. I panic, then surrender in peace to what is surely my death...
TANYA'S DREAMS: by Tanya, as told by Gayle Delaney, Jan 1971-June '72; a set of 6 breakup dreams
My friend Tanya tries hard to save her marriage, but in her dreams Isidora Duncan,
Carl Jung, even the gods themselves warn her to face their deep incompatibility...
THE TAPED WOUND: by Wayan; 1997/10/7, a dream on old tapes...
My wound's taped up, but hurts bad. I peel off the bandage. Nothing! Gone. So I check my other body...
TAROT: RENUNCIATION (8 of cups): by Wayan; Tarot card, 3x5", summer 1978.
Giving up a wall of material treasure for the moonlit path...
TAROT: DEATH (Resurrection): by Wayan; Tarot card, 3x5", summer 1979.
So you die, and to your secular surprise, your soul metamorphoses into...
TAROT: THE MOON (Ebb Tide: Memory): by Wayan; Tarot card, 3x5", summer 1979.
Time, tide, cycles... At ebb, the hourglass drains, the tide recedes, life hides in the cracks...
TED'S DEATH: drawn by Joey Epstein from her aunt's mid-1980s dream; a psychic dream
Ted died of CO2 poisoning in Hong Kong. His mom dreamed he came to tell her
it was painless. To prove he was real, he told her...
TINGLE: by Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin, c.Sept. 1825, a dream of Good Vibrations
I experienced a delicious tembling throughout my being, sweeping up
from my toes to my head. It shook me to the marrow of my bones...
THE TORTURER: by Wayan; 1997/7/13, a predictive nightmare
A free-lance torturer chooses me for his victim. He has the right. I bluster, but when I fall asleep at last...
CAUTION: NO PAIN, BUT GORE
TOWARDS BREAK OF DAY: by WB Yeats and Georgie Yeats, Dec. 1918;
Simultaneous dreams sharing mood & theme not images.
Yeats sees but cannot touch the waterfall he loved so in childhood;
Georgie, the magical white stag in King Arthur...
TRADING PLACES: by Wayan, 1983/6/20, an intuitive flash overriden by rational relatives
My sisters want to see Trading Places in the nearest theater. I ask to go to a more distant theater
but can't explain why. We arrive to find the showtime had a typo. Gotta wait an hour. At last we file in,
the lights go down...and out. Totally out. Power failure! They can't fix it. I never did see that movie...
THE TRAIN ON TIME CAFE: by Wayan, 1981/12/20, an epic political dream.
Silicon Valley goes enthusiastically fascist. I hide in a berry patch. They build a shining world, and then...
TWO GUITARS: by Marc Ian Barasch, c. 2000; a multileveled psychic dream
I dream my daughter's selling two unused guitars. They seemed symbolic until I told her the dream and...
WAITING FOR PIGFALL: by Wayan; 1979/10/31, a puzzling Halloween dream.
The messiah of a suicide cult prepares to ritually sacrifice me. Then a miracle occurs! But... whose?
WHERE'S MY MUM?: by Pauline Ramsey; 1972, a long-term predictive nightmare.
I find my mum under my bed, unconscious, her head cracked. And I wake knowing it means she’ll lose her mind...
WHOSE DREAM IS THIS, ANYWAY?: by Anonymous #25, c.2005, as told by Patti Allen; a cledonic dream
A dreamer I know dreamt she was fired by a Mr Bleeden. Baffled her, but made shocking sense to me! My dad...
A WIFE OR A GHOST: by Justin Masi; 2014? a surreal dream-painting-prose-poem on grief
My sister's fiancé Billy died a year ago. I didn't realize how deep the grief ran till I dreamed...
WITCHMARE SEDUCES TWILIGHT: by Wayan; 2021/3/12 & 13, a dream with a confirming follow-up
DREAM: Witchmare the sorceress patiently wins over Twilight, a unicorn who thought she was straight.
NEXT NIGHT: at a queer picnic, I find I know my orientation--witches! But I'm less sure what sex I am...
CAUTION: LESBIANS, UNICORNS, FANART, COMPLEXITY
WITNESS: by Patagia, 2006/2/16, a poem of a redemptive nightmare
A woman I had wronged set her pit bull on me! Hand in its jaws, I gave in, and we both began crying...
YOU LOSE EVERYTHING: by Rachel Yoder, spring 2023, a dream of discovery and loss
The house I'm looking at has unexpected rooms, even a pool, but another buyer beats me out.
An old woman says "Don't worry dear, in time you lose everything." A comfort at first, but then...
YUPPIE BREAKUP: by Wayan; 1991/5/22, a dream on values--or the lack thereof.
A yuppie idealist discovers her boyfriend's a cheerful opportunist, and they disentangle their lives...
CAUTION: SEX IN REVERSE


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