Johns dreamt he was painting an American flag. He woke, and did--
mixing pigment and beeswax, coating newspaper strips...
Jaundiced dreams of an art show spell out just how deeply I reject the rules behind modern art...
All the Asteroids were coming together at last to form something bigger. In church,
the dull-eyed preacher hadn't noticed. I led a blind man on toward the new...
I sculpted a plaster abstract, then found it wasn't. A vortext of bedsheets, faces, hands, bodies...
Bess painted images that look like abstract symbols
but actually flashed in front of him when half asleep...
My abstract sculpture just got fishier and fishier, til it grew these big red lips...
Coyote invades an abstract painting to expose why the art world loves that high-concept, impersonal art...
How Bach sounded to me after seeing Fantasia...
If you can't tell what it is from the thumbnail, cheer up. It's indescribable full-size, too.
A doctor lures me into his office. What he turns out to be scares me less than how I defend myself...
CAUTION: VIOLENCE, ARACHNOPHOBIA
Painting an abstract watercolor, I drifted into trance, and found myself climbing a
thorny slope. Deer in the brush. Great peaks around. Had I gone wrong?
I go to work at the factory, clock in, strip naked, and build my... self! Myself as art.
A long slow job, but when my workmates ask, I'm admit I'm happy with me at last...
Coming down with a virus, I dream of a guy who INSISTS we must fight, it's just so FUN...
Early Euro and Indian art liked bilateral symmetry; old Japan liked careful asymmetry. I like self-similarity.
My take on what Georgia O'Keeffe claimed she was up to with those giant flowers...
Since I dream I'm an animal a lot (or I'm an animal that wakes to find it's human a lot) hands fascinate me...
After a busy exhausting day, I find myself on a dream street flirting with a really cute artist.
Until this stumpy green Martian slithers up, calls us criminals, and threatens us with a raygun...
CAUTION: DUMBEST INNER CRITIC EVER
Nearly abstract but not quite. The snake, the quill pen, the secretary bird, and the rose.
Inspired by Shaun Tan, I fill a black-paged photo album with 36 improv paintings.
They become a tour of my dreamworld, led by my anima Silky, a literal nightmare...
CAUTION: FURRY NUDITY, WEIRD DREAM IDEAS
At a museum, a weird art project shows me how observing and documenting life
in art can improve that life--just from being taken seriously...
You're looking down on a landscape at something red, scalloped and twisty. A barrier or a path to follow?
Alone in my blue room, I heard sax music. Two sunbathers were jamming outside my window...
CAUTION: SEX AND SAX
A voice told me, "Human beings have a spark of the divine"...
Just an abstract birdlike acrylic squiggle I liked. Sorry, no story...
I love curves, not the chunky forms of this machine-ruled world...
No, not a guy with a tan. Yves Tanguy was a sailor who became a Surrealist.
When I was nine or ten, his work inspired me to try my first landscape drawings...
The card of big messes, confused beginnings--and fertilization...
When you scheme too hard you can end up "amazed": lost in the maze of alternatives...
They call it the information highway because we're all supposed to march in formation...
I twirled pinups into surreal not-quite-abstracts, to see just how twisted sex could get...
CAUTION: NAKED PRETZELS
An improvised painting-series exploring my obsession for Utopia--and your deafening silence...
CAUTION: IDEAS, FURRY NUDITY, THAT GOSH-DARN MODERN ABSTRACT ART
Dodging between all your -isms, I feel like a bird on a battlefield...
I was bodiless but trapped. All I could see were these moving wires. Whenever a knot drifted by...
CAUTION: MADNESS, TORMENT, TELEPATHY, SEXUAL REBELLION
I'm to be beheaded. Guards chant "It's important to enjoy what you're doing."
I know my spilled blood will create a work of art...
Another lie from those fiendish abstractionists. Turns out it's not a yellow ball at all...
CAUTION: LANGUAGE
It's true: after death, angels advise you where to go next.
But what if you get an over-eager travel agent?