I dream of Beren and Luthien happy and mortal in their forest, and wake to find...
I'm a hobbit in Silicon Valley, stalking Ring-wraiths down El Camino. But one of them's stalking me...
CAUTION: VIOLENCE, HYPNOTIC GASLIGHTING
DREAM: to stop an idiotic bout of war-fever, I have to take on the power of the Goddess herself...
NEXT DAY: I stumble on a fantasy book, Ariel, full of details straight out of the dream...
THAT NIGHT: I sign the Unicorn Commitment, but personalize the magical contract...
CAUTION: DISSES REAGAN & SOUTHERN MASCULINITY
A publishing-house error made them reject Tolkien's mythical work, and demand a sequel to The Hobbit...
After I saw the film "Surviving Picasso" (he's brilliant but treats women like dirt)
I dream a sexy friend asks me to remove a strange curse. But can I?...
I take Cassandra's prophecies seriously, but she can't make sense of my future.
So we go see an otter with a crystal ball. But he's installed a new security system...
I'm Charlie Chaplin doing magic tricks with the Ring of Power. And I don't even WANT power, just love...
People SAY they like realistic characters they can identify with, but they don't ACT like it...
Ballooning over Middle Earth with a metamorphosing butterfly-girl, we drift into forbidden territory:
To prove I really am lucid-dreaming, I let a streetcar run me over. Mm, crunchy! Then I find out...
CAUTION: DON'T TRY THIS AT OM...
I had to face the Dark Lord. But my inexperienced therapist was unprepared for the battle--he hadn't even put his
shoes on! I told him the dream; he got defensive. I switched to a veteran therapist and got much better feedback...
An economist gets a job as a dragon guarding a data-treasure.
Heroes plot to slay him, but I trust the dragon more than the heroes...
After the Lord of the Rings falls, Elbereth herself is sent to heal the land. But she has a troubling neighbor...
We escape three trolls, but then our author Tolkien breaks in
to explain an Elvish word. Now we're really doomed...
An elephant sinks in the North Sea, and the Oracle Mink says a wizard did it. Can old Lady Gandalf help?
I'm a delicate little ermine-chinchilla whose best friends are all sewer rats.
They push their food and drink on me, and I nibble to be polite...
1: I visit Elrond and Bilbo in Elvenhome, but overthinking traps me in a timeloop;
2: Elrond says he renounces seriousness for joy, and plans a great, inclusive party;
3: I feel unworthy, but set out on a desert quest with Elrond's young apprentice;
4: I meet joyful, drunken, singing elves but hide in a tree, too shy to join in;
5: I meet a nervous elven singer and a dolphin trapped in a tiny pool in my bedroom...
DREAM: I hike up my Career Path into the hills. On a snowfield,
a bird and a fox create the eye of God, who banishes all evil!
NEXT DAY: I read a novel full of images out of the dream...
I dreamed I was a gull in Middle Earth fighting Sauron, though he
blurred my vision; but my hawk-eyed gullfriends helped me out...
I bear a Ring of Power meant to corrupt me. I cleansed it, at a cost, but can't wield it till I've read its spell...
I'm a hobbit seeking Henry Fonda's haunted gold mine. And find it. Or is that chocolate?
But then I'm caught in a shamanic showdown in a bar where they serve real spirits...
I contemplate Bilbo taunting Smaug, then Frodo, Sam and Gollum triggering Mt Doom to erupt,
but next I "remember" other fiery catastrophes and "realize" hobbits are always causing...
I'm a hobbit woman in Los Angeles, hiding a magic weapon
from Sauron. No, not THAT weapon. The wishing-bucket...
I'm a sniper in a desert battle of men against hobbits. Guilty for not fighting openly, but that'd be suicidal...
CAUTION: MATH AND WAR
I'm a librarian in an English village hit by fads--new philosophies and lifestyles. I learn what works:
I can help slay a monster and save my friends--if I deny I'm human.
My denial has grave consequences, but it's absolutely true...
I wake in a hobbit-hole. My love looks worried. What's wrong with me? A badger
takes me to see wizard Sean Connery, who gives me feathers to eat, and I become...
An archeological dig inscribed in the Roman alphabet, Chinese characters, Ethiopian
syllabics and unknown scripts. A carved egg bears news from the future, not the past...
CAUTION: CALLS PROPHECY A LEARNABLE SKILL
When the school district goes bankrupt, students flee creditors into a hell-cave.
But Joe Cool can skateboard even on lava in the Pit...
I dream of a scary king who offers to bake my dreams to strengthen them. Then my friend Mark calls...
I met two strange sisters on a train who turn out to be half-cat. They open my eyes
so I realize that my neighbor Elaine must be a shapeshifter too...
CAUTION: FLIRTATIOUS UNDERAGE CAT
My psychology professor insists that nature spirits faded away as science rose.
But I still dream of krelkins! Jasha is the one I know best...
Why'd a spirit-woman come to our reservation to mourn a drowned guy? Her mirrors & candles tell us...
An idiot wizard lures car-sized spiders into town. I find a spellbook that repels them, but have to hide it
so my community college professors, Gandalf & Saruman, don't take it. For I'm no wizard, just a lizard...
CAUTION: HUGE SPIDERS, HUGE SELLOUTS
The Christian God vs Mahakala, Buddhist god of right anger! War in Middle Earth, as Pink Floyd sings...
DREAM: Gay boys, underage girls & my own sister all mock me, sure I want their forbidden sexual fruit
at a beach where grotesque trees make their own precipitation and salt-dunes spill into saturated, toxic brine...
NEXT DAY: I read Margaret Atwood's The Salt Garden--sex, guilt, and grotesque trees in saturated, toxic brine.
CAUTION: SEXUAL GUILT, EXHIBITIONIST TWEENS, APPARENT E.S.P.
A creepy visit to the Leather Nuns: as fierce as Beorn in The Hobbit, but less hospitable...
ALYSE dreams Tim drives a motorcycle-book up a hill, but she doesn't LIKE riding so fast...
TIM dreams a wise woman tested him, but found him unqualified to play teacher to Alyse...
I’m in San Francisco trying to throw Sauron’s Ring into the Cracks of San Andreas.
But a sexy sorcerer steals my sense of I! How can you act without a self?
I salvaged a door. When I painted it, a fox-woman wanted to open it and get out...
CAUTION: FURRY NUDITY
A vagabond king showed me the way into Faerie, and it made my fortune. But now it’s time to pass the gift on...
A scholar on Middle Earth warns our obsession with public transparency keeps our psychology crude...
A mad scientist sneaks me into a museum that holds the Ring of Power I made at 14. I put it on, and
slip into the spirit world--as a dragon! An ice-drake sent by Sauron comes to duel me for my Ring...
Widely held notions manifest easier. I could forge Sauron's Ring, and it'd really work! But do I want to?...
My dreams are made of lovely carvable jade. Too bad my tools and skills suit our plastic age...
I'm playing poker with a dragon. But we barely dare move: we're both crackling with thousands of volts...
I dreamed I was the Spirit of Mexico: a winged coyote flying around Sonora howling at the moon...
An assassination plot using two planes triggers an invasion of our kingdom. Flee? Fight?
I'm a peaceful hobbit who'd rather be playing Frisbee with the dryads...
I'm in Middle Earth, interviewing dwarves and hobbits
who've experienced a phenomenon called Summoning...
DAY: our ex-cat comes back, needing surgery. Dad doesn't want to pay. Big quarrel.
DREAM: Cats, birds, elf-girls; in their asteroid library, a tale of oath-breaking...
Now I'm the one who stole a tooth of jade from the volcano hall. Greed... erupts!
CAUTION: NUDE BIRD-ELF, DEATH BY LAVA
I'm on a world inhabited by hobbits when H.G. Wells shows up, looking for a Ring of Power...
When my friends and I learn to fly, all of Middle Earth turns against us!
Fleeing from Saruman's army, I discover the backstage truth about our world...
CAUTION: VIOLENCE, DOOM, PHYSICS! YODA IN THE TUB!
DREAM: Witchmare the sorceress patiently wins over Twilight, a unicorn who thought she was straight.
NEXT NIGHT: at a queer picnic, I find I know my orientation--witches! But I'm less sure what sex I am...
CAUTION: LESBIANS, UNICORNS, FANART, COMPLEXITY