I'm in a barren concrete room in the foothills of Redwood City, arguing with a fatalist.

He says "You can't affect ANYTHING."

I say "My own individual effort can affect myself and others, even in the face of BIG things."

"Ha! Right. Nuclear weapons!"

I make him a bet. "Let's test it. You set up a Hiroshima-sized bomb right here and now, on a ten-minute fuse. I bet that I can save myself entirely with my own strength--no outside help, no motors, not even power tools."

He takes the bet. (Think it was ten minutes--I may have cut it fine, said only five, which isn't much margin.) He thinks I'm gonna try to disarm his A-bomb of course. I can't possibly get a safe distance away, since cars are banned, right?

But I run outside and hop on my bike and zoom down the road to the flats--in 5-10 minutes I can get a mile or two or even three away if I run all the red lights.

I do. Ride right down the middle of 4-lane streets too. I'm confident I can win. It's not an H-bomb--its radius of serious destruction shouldn't be too much over a mile...

NOTES IN THE MORNING

In the dream I never notice that I've accepted a bet with no reward! EVERYONE loses! If the other guy wins, I'll be too dead to pay, he'll be too dead to collect. At best, I'll win by surviving--with a fallout dose. And how many third parties will die or be poisoned with us?

Nukes and fallout usually have to do with my health (or lack of it).

I think the dream is warning me of an ominous long-term pattern. I'm playing "chicken" with my health! Daring myself to go to the edge of illness.

"Oh, you can have one drink."

"You're not very allergic to that..."

"I'm having fun at this party, there's not much second-hand smoke!"

"Just let me finish this, then I'll rest."

"Just let me finish this, then I'll eat."

"Just let me finish this, then I'll stretch."

"Just let me finish this, then I'll leave."

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