INTRODUCTION

A century-old tradition holds that when you start therapy, your initial dream can tell if the two of you can work together--and on what issues. I've been collecting examples of these for the World Dream Bank, such as Mom in the Driver's Seat and The Occupation. But therapists (and thus writers about therapy) don't hear other milestones: such as dreams warning a client not to start therapy, like Her Hands are Tied or Cut-Rate Treatment.

Here's a third, related sort: when to end therapy? In 1987 I was quite ill. Got pelvic pain. My doctor called it stress and referred me to a therapist. Yet my insurance only covered a few sessions. I saw Kay as long as they let me. I liked her. So as the last low-cost session came up, I was faced with a hard choice: "Do I quit Kay, or go on at market rates I can't really afford?"

I slept on it. I got answered.

DREAM

I go to see Kay, my therapist. I want to talk about sex, but can't; no privacy! Two workmen are in the office, hanging up some art. Wait, I drew these! A lurid piece full of crazy energy--Mermaid, Mare and Sea-Star--then an elegant, sexy creature, The White Krelkin--then an erotic figure study, Fur and a Big Butt. They grow steadily calmer, more realistic... and more sexually explicit.

I like the art, it's even relevant, but is this really the time to hang it? I ask them to leave, but they say "just one more minute!" Wrong. The brackets are loose. Hammer, hang, swear, unhang, move, hammer, hang! On and on...

Kay does try to tackle sex, despite the noisy workers. But she makes a bizarre verbal-slip--says "You think I'm gay," when she means "I think you're gay." I think sex makes Kay nervous.

Next she says "I've been trying to compare my feelings about men with yours." I'm bewildered, and ask "My feelings about men? What do you think my sexual orientation IS?" "Well, you... never hear me talk about being attracted to women, so you assume I'm --" she blurts and stops. Garbled her pronouns again! She meant "I never hear you talk about women so I assumed you were gay."

I look at the clock; most of my hour is gone. My last low-cost session, wasted on this! (Well, OK, I do like seeing my pictures up.) But I have a hard sexual history haunting me--guilt-tripping, incest tensions, battering--and addressing all that'll take way more than one session! Especially not if Kay isn't sure what's me, what's her. I expect some confusion in therapy... but this? Kay literally doesn't know who "I" am.

NOTES IN THE MORNING

• Sexy dream art that gets steadily more realistic: dreamwork & art make my sexuality more realistic! And if you're broke like me, the price is right...
• Kay confuses "you" and "I": echoes Babel-17 by Sam Delany. Rydra Wong and a man with no concept of "I" devise a pidgin language to communicate. Rydra's a linguist--understands how to interpret his pronoun-garbling. In contrast, Kay seems to be truly confusing I & you, gay & straight!
• ACTION: I like Kay; she means well. But she can't see me! Let her go. Stick with dreamwork and art; they're working.

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