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A KRELKIN SMEARED

Crayon, 9x13". Drawn 1981, revised after a dream, 1996/9/23, by Chris Wayan

I dream I'm a female krelkin, a slender, clever nonhuman being with a white-pelted body, delicate hands, a long black mane and a mares' tail...

Then I dream I'm in therapy, working on my dream, IN my dream!

Rather than tell it, I draw it as a black and white cartoon. It's beautiful. I mean, I'm beautiful.

oval drawing of dream being called a krelkin
Then rage wells up, and I destroy my self-image! Smear red lipstick all over my dream-body, the red meaning both the fire of rage and the inflammation of sickness.

I've written sickness on my body, and what is written will come to pass. Soon I'll fall ill from this rage.

My therapist Shelley looks at the page a while, then gets a small vial of hand cream. She smears a bit on the art. It dissolves the red lipstick; she wipes most of it off the figure, leaving just a fiery background. Traces left on my body, but now I look... salvageable!

Yet I feel almost angry about that--Shelley did it without asking me if I wanted to risk it. Could have totally destroyed the krelkin... that is, me. I'm allergic to so many solvents, you see.

But then, I was nearly certain to fall sick, if she'd done nothing. And what Shelley did paid off. Restored me!

My ingratitude shocks me. But I nearly wish she'd left me alone, defaced with red rage...

NOTES

One thing's clear. I can trust Shelley. Good intincts! Maybe better than my own. And isn't that what you want in a therapist?



LISTS AND LINKS: I'm Just Not Myself Today - cross-gender dreams - cross-species dreams - animal people - krelkins - sexy creatures - therapy dreams - anger! - Early, shy emergence of krelkins: Krelkin Camouflage - same dreamer, same night, same issue?: Zucchini Girl - round and nonrectilinear art - picture-stories

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