I'm at a Halloween party. We're in middle school, I think--but I spot my high-school friend Jeff, and the kids look like teens not tweens, and even the air is wrong: it's a hot muggy evening in a small town, feeling way more Texas than my childhood California. In this sauna heat, we all dress skimpy and sexy--little prom dresses, not full costumes. We show what creatures we're playing with accessories--cat tails, elf ears, vampire fangs.

By baring so much skin, my classmates can't hide some physical quirks common in this isolated town due to genetic drift. A minority of boys are squat, muscular and apish, with long arms, short legs; a few girls have leggy Barbie proportions, though small-breasted--nearly a child's torso on legs up to three-fifths their height.

Mixed in with the humans and mutants playing elf, werewolf, catgirl and vampire for a night... a few are true cryptids. Halloween's the one night they can mingle safely. I spot a few I'm sure of, but the crowd seems not to notice that some of the creatures are real.

Little Meryl the unicorn dances up a storm. She's human--her palomino tail matches her hair convincingly, but that horn and her pink ears are visibly plastic.

Tall Britomartis bares it all in her gauzy gown--it reveals that her fairy wings, like the hindclaws on her feet (ideal for gripping branches) root deep in her muscles and bones--real, alive. Cryptid!

And Delia, model-tall; her delicate build and long coltish legs make it obvious that she, like her apish dance-partner dressed as Popeye, is a small-town mutant...

But I'm not so sure about that catgirl and her vampire date. Human or cryptid?

And then I pause. Why bother classifying? I like girls of all species. What matters is who's single.

No. A second thing matters. When they look at me, what do they see? Human, mutant, cryptid? Dull, attractive, exotic... horrifying? What kind of creature am I?

NOTES IN THE MORNING

• Midwestern small town, sexy teens: on Only Murders in the Building, Meryl Streep told her past--she was a small-town drama star, her teacher got her pregnant, she gave up the baby to a local couple--now her lost son's showed up!
• Mutants: I am one. I have Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. Loose joints, damaged immune system, sharp senses easily overloaded, autism making me socially shy.
• Local genetic drift creates mutant minority: I just read Lavie Tidhar's The Circumference of the World. It opens in the island nation of Vanuatu, where genetic drift made albinos frequent.
• Sex-linked mutation, so local boys look apish, and girls more Barbie-ish: butch & femme exaggerated, as Trumpism advocates.
• Real traits among fake: in our book group, I told of shamanic lore and modern dream research. Many scientists see ESP as impossible, but shamans worldwide say it's just difficult; it takes time & practice to distinguish psychological dream themes from psychic/external ones, and thus score high on ESP tests; that is, it's real but hard to sort from the noise of our busy lives (and egos).
• Three types, not two: science sees one dream-type, shamans see two: personal / ordinary and shamanic / paranormal. But this dream proposes some third type, symbolized by these local mutations. Hmm. Does the EDS mutation affect my dreams? Maybe! High recall, vivid content, shamanic themes, lots of sex, humor and weird creatures. Generally happier than normal dreams, too. Am I genetically xenophilic, femme, trusting? Genes affect trust levels: look at Down's syndrome (hardwired naïve) and sociopaths (hardwired cynical). Maybe I'm a third type.
• ACTION 1: in dating, no need to sort prospective dates into types; I liked them all. But how do I look to them? What do they see? I truly don't know.
• ACTION 2: look hard at this third aspect of dreams--shaped by my mutation. Trust, xenophilia, femophilia? All maladaptive traits--in an America gone paranoid, xenophobic, and butch-crazy.

A FEW MONTHS LATER

Donald Trump was re-elected. Now I wonder if the dream was more political than personal. I've heard leftist talk that it wasn't just anger about inflation, it was racist rejection of Harris that nudged Trump over the top. I'm not convinced it was racism. Black candidates can win nationwide, Obama proved that; and Biden proved Trump is beatable. But sexism? Voters twice rejected women who were certainly as competent as Biden or Obama.

Anyway, now I suspect the ultrabutches and ultrafemmes in my dream were warning that sexism is a real factor in our current mess. Boys want to be seen as tough and dominant. And girls want... what?

Oh, like anyone in the new Thug America cares...

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