THAT DAY

My bandmate Mike doesn't want to record or post more songs, "giving away our music for free". He wants us to polish what we have and make a CD. I disagree--I want to record decent roughs of all our songs now, and I want all that work online. When has posting songs free ever hurt obscure bands? And Mike's soon heading for India--for months. So yes, I want to record everything we can, now. We could die tomorrow!

See, I've spent all my adult life ill, seeing hopes blighted. I KNOW life's short and uncertain. I can't let hopes of future money restrict what music I make or distribute now. I keep my life simple and sacrifice financially so I can focus on art for its own sake. Okay, maybe the WRONG art; at the moment I'm putting many hours into Planetocopia and sculpture, neglecting music, poetry and even dream-tales, which may be better stuff; who knows? I lack perspective.

And I know why. I'm autistic. I don't understand non-autistics any better than they get me; I don't know what humanity'll value in the long run. So I work on all that interests me, hoping some projects will resonate for someone someday--even if it's a century from now--AIs, posthuman spacers and/or uplifted furs, not humans at all. Fine with me! Trial and error so far makes me suspect I'm too strange for most humans here & now. But I won't crop my ears and tail and ESP--or my autistic math and pattern modules. I won't put on a human mask.

THAT NIGHT

A girl shows me her art studio. On a squarish bronze pedestal stands a surreal unicorn or kirin, rearing, done in a translucent ruby material so deep-red it's nearly black till a light shines through.

Ruby or red glass unicorn. Dream figurine was far more feline & surreal.

The mane, tale & horn are lighter--or just thinner so they let light through easier. Not very equine--quite feline. Nor very realistic; low, slinky, muscular, surreal.

I ask her what she made it from and she says "Oh, I didn't make it, I just found it sitting in some rubbish. Old and out of style I guess!"

More feline but still not fierce or strange enough

I'm amazed. The trash? Even if not to most people's taste, she's unique. At least I've never seen anything like her and I notice unicorns. Being one--just one that's learned to pass.

NOTES IN THE MORNING

• Unwanted treasure:
  1. Mike wants songs with mainstream appeal, but my favorites are the strangest, furriest, unworldliest dreamsongs like Busy Ness Man or Migrate Through Fire.
  2. My dream thinks my other arts matter too, not just music. But no matter the medium, my content's too strange for most folks. A niche audience at best.
• I'm a closet unicorn: a recurring dream motif, as in Bastard Unicorn or Abreast of the Competition.
• ACTION 1: Sculpt such a creature in translucent ruby resin. Except... I'm sensitive to so many resins. Red glass? But I worked with glass a bit, and my inevitable small burns and cuts heal very slowly. Maybe a digital image? The least toxic. But also... pretty hard to render what I saw.
• ACTION 2: Why NOT value my strangest work the most? Others may too... in time.

YEARS LATER

I dreamt this feline unicorn years before I ever saw Unikitty in the Lego movies. But I suspect the dream does not anticipate Unikitty but another animated character who's a much better match! Just three months later, I first saw My Little Pony, whose candy-colored, low, slinky, emotionally expressive unicorns were much like this. I identified strongly with them. The first show I saw had ponies from the Crystal Empire, who are translucent--even more like the dream-figurine! A red rather feline unicorn? Cadance, the big-eyed, sexy Princess of Love. Sigh...

But in 2012 when I dreamed this, I hadn't seen the show at all.

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