Dreamed 1992/2/21 by Wayan
A NOTE IN THE MORNING
Today I read Iron John by Robert Bly, who has iron-firm notions of what constitutes a man, and is particularly critical of what he sees as modern evasion of the traditional male responsibilities, which he dubs (following Jung I think) the Puer Aeternus or Eternus ("eternal child" in Latin)--instead of the existing pop term "Peter Pan syndrome".
I fit all his criteria. But then I live in San Francisco. All of us in San Francisco (even the straights) fit his criteria. Pretty much gotta be a farmer with a shotgun and a dog to satisfy ol' Bly. And the dream picked it up. Really, when you get down to it, Bly's notion of grounding is just a slick, poetic form of femme-bashing. Artsy-fartsy city sissies. Not real men.
Why the hell should I wait around for the Heartland to get off the ground? Why should you? Don't wait for others. Don't wait for wings. You can fly without.
27 YEARS LATER
I recently learned that I have a rare mutation (Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome) making my body fragile and brain hyperactive. I'm autistic, but a savant--and by using that brain and working hard, I could (just barely) pass--if not flourish. My hard work probably delayed my diagnosis decades.
I wasn't avoiding adulthood--indeed, as Peter Pans go, I wasted lots of time staring through the window at normality, trying to learn how you did it; I tried hard to join you, in your human world. It never worked. It never could. Dealt a fey genetic hand!
I can't be human. But I can soar.
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