Sex-and-violence is one word in America, because our ratings system TEACHES us to link them...
CAUTION: THE F-WORD AND SENSIBLE IDEAS
I find the feminist principle "the personal is political" leads to some alarming consequences for privacy...
CAUTION: POLITICS
High school reporters spy on a college dance. But the real action's not where they say...
CAUTION: MAKING OUT, AND I DON'T GET ANY
A catalog of American addictions and the absurd distinctions we make between them....
CAUTION: EMBARRASSING DRUG LIST
I'm a reporter. In the mall, I get my pocket picked repeatedly--
but the thieves keep slipping mysterious stuff in, not out...
CAUTION: PUN
In a world of hideous haircuts (flagging your politics) I meet a dragon
running for office. But is this real or a dream? Both/neither! It's...
I grope for the name of an island. I dream I crash a car on a bridge; it hangs with one wheel over. I wake & recall a friend who moved to Canada.
Breakfast. That island's on the front page. Inside's a photo of that hanging car. A letter comes--the first from my Canadian friend in years.
Each might be coincidence, but what do we call it when coincidence goes on and on?
DREAM: I'm in the Arctic facing a hostile mob. I insist "I'm dreaming; you can't hurt me." They try!
I look down at my body, stuck full of hatchets, and say "See?" They slink off, looking sheepish...
TWO DAYS LATER: I'm in northern England. A reporter snaps "Dreams won't help the miners..."
All my life I've had sudden visions showing violent deaths accompanied by headlines naming the victims...
I rescue a hummingbird who drinks nectar from my ear. It becomes an Internet star.
But then a girl rides a waterslide with her tits showing, and my meme is over ...
CAUTION: CARTOON BREASTS
Out my window, a dog is fighting a snake. A dog with bat wings. A dog big as a horse.
A griffin! Big as a bus now. A dragon! What spell made me mistake THAT for a dog?...
An ink sketch in a magazine shows a new Ghost Dance invading city clubs.
But the (biased?) artist uglifies the Indians, horses and giraffes dancing...
CAUTION: MILD NUDITY; JAUNDICED ART/REPORTING
Cilda Spitzer and Hillary Clinton sentence America's bimbos to a shitty fate. But what of their cheating husbands?
I'm in World War II, asking a reporter to keep quiet about our secret weapon.
But it's already gone off, melting and distorting the whole cartoon world. It's...
To investigate a criminal couple, I have to lie. And that's hard, since all my lies turn true...
CAUTION: NEW AGE AND FILM NOIR DON'T MIX
The Dating Fairy, built on lonely evenings waiting for her to call me back--whoever "her" was that week...
CAUTION: NUDITY, SEXUAL THEMES
DREAM 1: A man wearing long white underwear shoots me down with a machine gun.
DAY: Long John Nebel interviews me; his Freudian friend calls me a penis-envying woman.
DREAM 2: Long John and his buddy umpire a rough baseball game. Definitely not cricket...
CAUTION: SEXISM, FREUDIANS, PUNS
A dream explaining why everyone with any moral vision gets filtered out of politics now...
Kate Wolf sings that ads are way dirtier than porn. But my memory slowly twists her message...
My mom and sister take me to see a bondage film. But the movie steals my pants! I should have known...
CAUTION: WORSE THAN PEEWEE HERMAN
A newsreel showed a flier for the Schneider Trophy Air Race. I felt a violent shock and said "He's going to die..."
Reactionaries smash a paper. To rebuild, the editor must sell
the sacred tiki carvings! But gods don't LIKE being sold...
CAUTION: MORAL QUANDARY
I dream I'm an insomniac trapped in a flat full of snoring writers and reporters. Wait a minute...
I cross San Francisco on public transit--a network of children's slides. One leads into...
A wormhole full of aliens, where a goofy-haired reporter interviews a hacker...
In a near-future dictatorship, Democrats are afraid to take any action. But in a suburban lot,
I find a burned-out tank. I need to find these rebels who can defeat military-grade repression...
CAUTION: GRIM
Teresa mistrusts men. Her best friend Sabina comes on to me in front of Teresa, who blames me...
CAUTION: NUDITY, BETRAYAL, GENDER PARANOIA
The Lone Star Planet--worldwide Texas--is weirdly empty. No kids at all! Instead, teens
ping into existence pre-formed. An alternate Earth with no concept of change?
I'm a tiger from Planet Cat, visiting Earth to run in San Francisco's "Bay to Breakers" race.
I knew racial tensions were high, but why is William S. Burroughs out to kill me? Oh. Because...
Khodasevich (1939): I dreamt a call announced my friend was dead. Really he was still alive--but not for long...
Sergey (1945): My brother died in January but the news took months to reach us. Just before it did, I dreamed...
I wander a valley where unicorns love cyborgs but fear giant ants, who love unicorns but
fear cyborgs, who love ants but fear unicorns! And while the Three Tribes squabble, cave-monsters
sculpt them all. I set up peace talks between these four aspects of my tetrahedral soul...
CAUTION: SWEARING, DRUNK LIONS, CYBORG SURGERY, AND GOGGLE-BARFING
I'm a demon girl out to sabotage a pirate radio station by climbing a tall
wall of glowing wax, carrying a comatose mountain lioness on my back!
1940s reporters almost trap me in a mob shootout. I shelter in a gender-segregated hotel.
The owner of Wharton Tower shakes the hotel so it swings between its butch & femme halves.
I fall off the Hudson Palisades, but I land safely on the Glass Ceiling...
I dreamt I could clearly see the sun's corona, like a lion-mane of fire. But the
corona dwindled; then the very sun dimmed, shrank, and went out. I thought...
CAUTION: POLITICAL?
I live in four consecutive bodies: I'm a Bose-Einstein condensate, a cloud of particles moving as one--
unless overheated. No, I'm Witch's Butter, a mob of amoeboid cells who unify into a quasi-slug--temporarily.
No, I'm a person, but soft and yellow as Witch's Butter. No, I'm firming up, but still entangled...
I dreamt the world itself hired me, at a generous salary, to report its great affairs exactly as they happen...