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STRUCK BY THOUGHT
dreamed by Chris Wayan (each verse is a short dream; 1956-82); poem, 83/9/12.
"One wing can't fly; but even two wings need a heart" --Pogo
Dreams are blunt! My longings slap my face.|
The warm touch of mind to mine,
Or an animal body's ease--and then
The old ache and groan of
Overbrained bipedal beasts
Burdened beyond our bearing.
I AM THREE|
I was a wildhorse, swooping free.
Red desert dust-plumes waved
At the sweet trumpet sun--
And then guilt reined!
Who'll we trample if we run?
We're seals. Lie heaped in domes
On the moon! Rookeries on
Air-beaches, in the old dust sea.
In low-gravity mid-ballet, we
Fluid seals are struck
Earth-awkward by thought.
Then I was an angel, but no dove--
Hawk, banded, talon-sharp
Perched on the shag-shoulder
Of my greenmaned lion love.
Who were those Morlocks
Rumbling in dread deep? We
Feared, but dove in dark--
Then I was an Ythrian, a winged sphinx
Lonely in a world of flightless Men.
Yet... to ride the air! Would be
Near-worth an outcast's pain.
But in that life I never flew: instead
I hobbled roads, encased!
Lead armor for the alpha-spitting waste
Their industry injected in the world's sore vein.
Then I was a girl bluefeathered,
Quasiprincess of our breed.
We land to rest in a human coastal town
Along our flyway every fall and spring.
But windowleaping worries them,
So we creep their stair.
I try to squeeze--too wide my wing--
For years I felt crippled, not because I was inherently defective (albatrosses can walk!) but because others made the way too narrow for our kind--most institutions just have no room for freaks. The Ythrian dream made the point even more harshly. Like many child prodigies I had allergies and chemical sensitivities; couldn't eat, drink, live, work, even breathe in many human environments.
- The Morlocks and the underworld we dove into are from The Time Machine by H.G. Wells.
- The Ythrians are from The People of the Wind and The Earth Book of Stormgate, both by Poul Anderson.
- The last dream echoed Baudelaire's poem "L'Albatros"; comparing the visionary artist with a grounded albatross, whose "wide wings keep him from walking."
Still, as the horse- and seal-dreams pointed out, it's not all others; a prodigy's early-flowering conscience can also weigh a child down, crush the innocent beast. Me, at least.
LISTS AND LINKS:
dream poems -
I'm Just Not Myself Today -
species-bent dreams -
giftedness and genius -
I Am Three (recurring dreams age 2-3, 1956-57):
guilt - a related dream:
I Am Three
Moondome (feverdream/vision 1983/9/12):
living on Luna -
seals and selkies -
Owl ballet on Venus -
Swing dance on Lyr
Gyrlfalcon (dream, 1971/11/26):
species-bent dreams -
H.G. Wells - this full dream:
Ythrian (dream, 1978/12/28):
other worlds -
chronic illness - a 2nd dream inspired by Poul Anderson:
Migrant (dream, 1982/10/5):
an earlier bird-girl-frustrated-with-humans dream:
More migration dreams: Alder migrates on foot due to
Flock Wisdom; Wayan leads the
Wapato Birds and
Migrates through Fire
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